Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
