Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize