Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife đŹ
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Liz Cheney wasnât exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying âYAS QUEENâ for in 2021 but here we are
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