I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
