You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
