absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize