yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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