Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
