even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize