3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
