I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
