I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Randomize