Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize