Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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