The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
