Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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