I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
