in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize