she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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