I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize