everyone is single if you try hard enough
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
