what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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