Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize