where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
