I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
