there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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