literally had 100 drinks last night.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize