so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
