Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
