Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
