So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
