And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
