She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
