drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
