i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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