i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
honey bunches of taint.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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