i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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