everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
