Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
