that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
