but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
COCAINE IS GR8
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
