Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
