My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
