Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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