Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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