Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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