Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
