Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
