East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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