Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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