I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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