The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
