kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
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