Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize