why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize