I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
