i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
