dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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