What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
