Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
