ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
